Reimagining Our To-Do Lists: A Shift from Pressure to Presence

Every weekend, I sit down and write out this giant to-do list.

You know the kind—the everything-and-the-kitchen-sink list. The one that includes house cleaning, bigger home projects that have been waiting for months, organizing for another week of homeschooling, planning meals and after-school activities, and squeezing in work emails or lingering business tasks that I know will help me feel a little more “on top of things” by Monday morning.

It’s a list that could easily take a small team to complete. And yet, I hand that impossible workload to one person—me.

Some weekends, I power through and check most of it off. But most of the time, I end Sunday staring at what’s not done. The unchecked boxes glare back at me, whispering all the ways I fell short. And if my body dares to ask for rest—or I decide to meet a friend for coffee or spend the afternoon outside instead—I end the weekend feeling guilty, as though I traded productivity for pleasure.

But recently, something shifted.

It dawned on me that these lists I create are never going to end. There will always be more things that could be done, more ways to be better, cleaner, more prepared, more accomplished. I realized that my list wasn’t a tool to support my week—it had become a silent standard of perfection I could never, ever reach.

So, I decided to pivot.

This weekend, instead of writing my list based on everything that needed doing, I wrote it based on what would leave me feeling accomplished and grounded before Monday morning. It sounds so simple—almost laughably small—but that single shift changed everything.

When I reframed my list, I found myself focusing on what truly mattered for that moment in time. I asked myself, what would make me feel ready? What would ease my mind? What could I complete that would genuinely add peace to my week ahead? And once I finished those few things, I gave myself permission to stop.

That afternoon, my son and I spent the day at the ocean. The air was unusually warm for fall, and the sun seemed to stretch itself across the water just for us. I remember thinking, I could be home doing laundry or answering emails right now. But instead, I felt calm, full, and satisfied. Not because I finished it all—but because I chose to be content with enough.

I’m sure not every weekend will land this way. Life, after all, rarely follows a neat plan. But if this small change—this simple redirection of intention—helps me start most weeks with more peace and less panic, then I’ll take that as a success.

Maybe It’s Time to Reimagine Your To-Do List, too! Here are a few reflections you might try this week:

1. Start with how you want to feel.
   Before you write your list, ask: What emotional space do I want to be in when this weekend ends? Peaceful? Grounded? Accomplished? Build your list around that.
2. Name your “enough.”
   Choose 2–3 key things that would help you feel genuinely prepared for the week. Let everything else be optional.
3. Add at least one “soul task.”
   Something that nourishes you. A slow morning coffee, a walk, a conversation, or creative time that doesn’t serve a “purpose” beyond joy.
4. Release the illusion of done.
   The list will never be finished, and that’s not a failure—it’s simply life unfolding.
5. End with gratitude.
   Before bed on Sunday, instead of counting the unchecked boxes, name what you did do—and who you became in the process.
6. Struggling with this process? Check out this Surviving the Storm guide!

Journal Prompts:
What would my to-do list look like if it was built around peace, rather than pressure?
What tasks would stay?
What could I release without guilt?

Healing Practice - This weekend, before you begin your usual to-do list, pause.
Take three slow breaths.
Ask yourself: What would help me feel satisfied, not stretched?
Then write from that place.
And when the day invites you to rest or play—accept the invitation fully.

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