Every weekend, I sit down and write out this giant to-do list.

You know the kind—the everything-and-the-kitchen-sink list. The one that includes house cleaning, bigger home projects that have been waiting for months, organizing for another week of homeschooling, planning meals and after-school activities, and squeezing in work emails or lingering business tasks that I know will help me feel a little more “on top of things” by Monday morning.

It’s a list that could easily take a small team to complete. And yet, I hand that impossible workload to one person—me.

Some weekends, I power through and check most of it off. But most of the time, I end Sunday staring at what’s not done. The unchecked boxes glare back at me, whispering all the ways I fell short. And if my body dares to ask for rest—or I decide to meet a friend for coffee or spend the afternoon outside instead—I end the weekend feeling guilty, as though I traded productivity for pleasure.

But recently, something shifted.

It dawned on me that these lists I create are never going to end. There will always be more things that could be done, more ways to be better, cleaner, more prepared, more accomplished. I realized that my list wasn’t a tool to support my week—it had become a silent standard of perfection I could never, ever reach.

So, I decided to pivot.

This weekend, instead of writing my list based on everything that needed doing, I wrote it based on what would leave me feeling accomplished and grounded before Monday morning. It sounds so simple—almost laughably small—but that single shift changed everything.

When I reframed my list, I found myself focusing on what truly mattered for that moment in time. I asked myself, what would make me feel ready? What would ease my mind? What could I complete that would genuinely add peace to my week ahead? And once I finished those few things, I gave myself permission to stop.

That afternoon, my son and I spent the day at the ocean. The air was unusually warm for fall, and the sun seemed to stretch itself across the water just for us. I remember thinking, I could be home doing laundry or answering emails right now. But instead, I felt calm, full, and satisfied. Not because I finished it all—but because I chose to be content with enough.

I’m sure not every weekend will land this way. Life, after all, rarely follows a neat plan. But if this small change—this simple redirection of intention—helps me start most weeks with more peace and less panic, then I’ll take that as a success.

Maybe It’s Time to Reimagine Your To-Do List, too! Here are a few reflections you might try this week:

1. Start with how you want to feel.
   Before you write your list, ask: What emotional space do I want to be in when this weekend ends? Peaceful? Grounded? Accomplished? Build your list around that.
2. Name your “enough.”
   Choose 2–3 key things that would help you feel genuinely prepared for the week. Let everything else be optional.
3. Add at least one “soul task.”
   Something that nourishes you. A slow morning coffee, a walk, a conversation, or creative time that doesn’t serve a “purpose” beyond joy.
4. Release the illusion of done.
   The list will never be finished, and that’s not a failure—it’s simply life unfolding.
5. End with gratitude.
   Before bed on Sunday, instead of counting the unchecked boxes, name what you did do—and who you became in the process.
6. Struggling with this process? Check out this Surviving the Storm guide!

Journal Prompts:
What would my to-do list look like if it was built around peace, rather than pressure?
What tasks would stay?
What could I release without guilt?

Healing Practice - This weekend, before you begin your usual to-do list, pause.
Take three slow breaths.
Ask yourself: What would help me feel satisfied, not stretched?
Then write from that place.
And when the day invites you to rest or play—accept the invitation fully.

While listening to a podcast the other day, I was struck by a simple but profound observation: the problem with many modern spiritual teachings on manifesting is that there’s too much focus on the Law of Attraction and Law of Resonance, and not nearly enough attention on the concept of Total Energetic Coherence.

It made me pause — because while so many of us are visualizing, journaling, and affirming our desires, few of us are truly examining whether our whole lives are in alignment with what we say we want. And that’s where most manifestations fall apart.

What You Focus on, You Attract. The Law of Attraction is the most well-known concept in the manifestation world. It’s the idea that like attracts like — that your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs draw corresponding experiences into your life. If you focus on abundance, gratitude, and joy, you magnetize more of the same. If you focus on lack or fear, you’ll continue to find yourself surrounded by situations that mirror that energy.

But what’s often missed is that the Universe doesn’t respond to your words — it responds to your frequency. You can speak affirmations of wealth and love all day long, but if your energetic baseline is rooted in scarcity or self-doubt, that’s what you’ll continue to attract.

You Receive What You Are. If the Law of Attraction is about what you focus on, the Law of Resonance is about what you embody. Resonance says that your vibration — the frequency of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors — determines what experiences you’re a match for.

In other words, it’s not enough to simply want something; you have to become it.

You can’t just desire love while resonating with unworthiness. You can’t call in abundance while your energy still holds resentment toward money. You can’t align with joy while still harboring bitterness from the past.

Resonance requires honesty. It asks you to look at the ways your energy contradicts your desires and to bridge the gap between who you are right now and who you’re becoming.

When All Parts of You Align this is where the deeper — and often more uncomfortable — work begins. Total Coherence means that every part of your life, from your relationships to your habits to your environment, is in energetic alignment with your higher self and your desired reality.

It isn’t enough to meditate on love but tolerate a toxic relationship.
It isn’t enough to visualize wealth but continue making fear-based financial decisions.
It isn’t enough to say you value peace while surrounding yourself with chaos.

When we say we want to manifest a better life, the Universe listens to our energy, not our excuses. And if parts of our lives are still rooted in old patterns, outdated dynamics, or self-sabotaging behaviors, that incoherence becomes resistance.

As the podcast host said, “You can’t be in partial coherence and expect total transformation.”
Think of it this way: if you’ve cut out toxic family members but continue to accept toxic romantic partners, you are not in total coherence. If you’ve learned to set boundaries at work but continue to betray your own needs at home, you are not in total coherence.

The Mirror Work: Where Manifestation Really Begins.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: mirrors are only painful for those who still refuse to look at their own reflection.

Manifestation isn’t just about dreaming big — it’s about radical self-honesty.
It’s about holding the mirror up to your life and asking, where am I still out of alignment?
Where do I still settle, self-abandon, or compromise my peace?
Where do I still play small while claiming I’m ready for more?

Total coherence requires us to look at the parts of ourselves and our lives we’d rather avoid — the unresolved wounds, the people we keep around out of guilt or fear, the habits that drain our energy even though we know better. It’s shadow work in motion.

And yes, it’s uncomfortable.
Growth always is.

But as long as we continue to tolerate the things that contradict the frequency of what we’re calling in, our manifestations will stay stuck in potential instead of becoming reality.

True manifestation isn’t just about feeling the vibration of your desires — it’s about living it.

It’s the daily, conscious decision to choose thoughts, relationships, and environments that honor your highest self.
It means having hard conversations.
Walking away from what no longer resonates.
Taking responsibility for your energy.

And holding yourself accountable for the frequencies you maintain, not just the ones you dream about.

Because manifestation isn’t magic — it’s energetic math. When every part of your life adds up in the same frequency, the Universe responds in kind. That’s when the right people, opportunities, and experiences begin to appear almost effortlessly.

So, the next time you find yourself wondering why a certain manifestation hasn’t come to life, pause before you blame the Universe.

Look in the mirror.
Ask yourself — where am I still out of coherence?

What am I still tolerating that keeps me from fully embodying the version of myself I say I want to be?
Because until we can look at our own reflection without flinching, the life we desire will remain just out of reach.

5 Lessons I Learned from Sociopath: A Memoir by Patric Gagne, PhD and Why You Should Read It Too!
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I often choose books that will bend my mind.

Concepts, ideas that will challenge my beliefs or open me to a new world of perspective. I can't even remember where I found this book, but it had been sitting on my nightstand for several months. During my current state of “I am checking out of social media and chasing and instead focusing on learning and growing” mindset, I decided to finally finish it.

Truthfully, I have an empathetic vein of blood that courses strongly through me. I want to understand people and appreciate them at a deep level — not just the surface version the world thinks they are. NOT just the labels society gives them. There was something that attracted me to the concept of Sociopath and a fascination I wanted to know more about.

This book touched me in so many ways. In fact, rarely would I tell a reader, you must not only read the book, but the entire Epilogue titled “Modern Love.”

I actually think the Epilogue was my favorite part.

Why? Because it summarized everything I’ve learned, even through raising my son who is on the autism spectrum — that “just because your love is different doesn’t mean it doesn’t count.” A direct quote from Gagne’s book by David.
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Here are five lessons I learned (and continue to reflect on) from Sociopath: A Memoir:

• The Spectrum of Emotion Is Not One-Size-Fits-All. Gagne opens the door to a world that most of us don’t fully understand — one where emotions are processed differently, where empathy isn’t absent but operates through logic instead of instinct. It challenged me to rethink the way we define emotional intelligence. Maybe not everyone feels in the same frequency, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of love, connection, or care even if it looks different than our own. 

          It reminded me that emotional diversity is just as real and worthy as any type of diversity. We are            all a beautiful mosaic of human beings, and it is together that our full picture can be seen and                  appreciated.

• Labels Can Liberate — But They Can Also Limit. Throughout her journey, Gagne wrestles with the diagnosis of “sociopath.” The label gave her a framework to understand her patterns, but it also became a cage others used to define her.

           I thought a lot about how often we use labels as shortcuts to understanding — autism, sociopath
           anxiety, introvert, empath — without always considering the complexity behind them.                               Sometimes a label helps us make sense of the chaos, but we must always remember it’s not the               full story. In fact, more often than not, it isn't even half the story and throwing labels and the                     stereotypes that those labels come with, can cause us to miss out on incredible people and                       experiences.

• Morality Isn’t Always Measured by Emotion. One of the most fascinating ideas in the book is how morality and empathy can exist independently. Gagne illustrates how she learned to behave ethically and compassionately not because she “felt” it the way others might, but because she chose it. That idea was powerful for me — the understanding that goodness isn’t just a feeling, it’s an act of will. You don’t have to “feel deeply” to still choose to do right by others. Furthermore, it challenges our views of what we "think" people are capable of (or not), and what they truly are and also forces self-reflection on what we have defined as our own "acts of love" and whether or not they are truly self-serving acts or methods of projecting our own feelings, needs and insecurities on another.

 

• The Desire for Belonging Is Universal. Even when Gagne described her detachment from typical emotional experiences, what pulsed through every chapter was her longing for belonging — to connect, to be seen, to be accepted without judgment. For WHO SHE IS. Not who the world wants her to be. Not a version that would make others easily "accept" her. For her. Isn’t that the most human thing of all?

Her words softened something in me — a reminder that we all want to be understood on our own terms, without someone trying to fix or define us.

Carl Jung said: "The deepest human need is to be seen and known." 
Gagne highlighted that fundamental need beautifully.

• Love Wears Many Faces. The Epilogue, “Modern Love,” hit me hard. The quote by David — “Just because your love is different doesn’t mean it doesn’t count” — encapsulated everything I believe as a mother, healer, and human.

           We’ve been taught that love should look and feel a certain way, but maybe love isn’t about the 
           grand gestures or perfect emotional expression. Maybe it’s about showing up — in whatever                     capacity you can — and choosing connection over isolation. Maybe it really, truly is, meeting 
           people where they are at. To learn to give and receive love that is authentic and unconditional                 and meaningful for all parties involved. A beautiful, beautiful ending and testament to what we               are capable when we desire to heal, understand and love ourselves and others.

Reading Sociopath stretched my heart and my understanding of what it means to be human. It made me see that empathy and love are not confined to one definition or experience.

They are lived in infinite ways — through logic, through care, through quiet understanding.
It’s a book that asks you to question everything you think you know about emotion and morality — and to soften your judgment toward those who simply experience the world differently.

If you pick it up (which I strongly, strongly encourage you to do), don’t rush through it.
Sit with it.
Especially the Epilogue.
It’s a mirror for how we define love — and maybe, how we can expand it.

In fact, maybe it highlights the lessons of unconditional love through radical acceptance of each other that this world so desperately needs.