A Rose or A Thistle: That is The Question

Perhaps one of the hardest lessons thus far has been the realization that despite all of the things in life that happen "to us" ultimately, we are always in the driver seat of our own lives.

So how do we want our garden to grow, a bed of roses? Or a land of thistles? 

Maybe a touch of both...

That rose in that picture was given to me by the most unexpected person, during the most unexpected encounter, in what felt like the most unexpected (and worst) timing.  

Yet it forced me to open my eyes and realize that for a long period of time I had returned to a place of all talk and all dreams. Scared to actually dig my shovel into the dirt of my existence and build the life I fantasied over. 

I had been existing - but not really living.

Living will actually look different for each of us and that is okay. 

In fact, it should. 

Trying to keep up with and how everyone else wants you to look, function, thrive is actually the exact problem so many of us find ourselves drowning in.

That was given to me right after I had almost settled back into trying to chase that white-picket fence of a life. 

The one that can make you look REALLY good on the outside to everyone else, but feel completely alone, lost and worst of all, unseen by those you surround yourself with.

Despite the degrees and certifications, I have obtained over the years, the thing I was most proficient in had become morphing myself into what everyone else needed me to be.  Even if that meant tearing myself apart in my shadows for the gaps that I felt existed between what I was and what everyone else wanted.

A simple rose to remind me to pause and think about what type of life I wanted to grow.  A thistle isn't bad, in fact you need some jagged moments to keep you moving forward and not stagnant in any period of life.

And now, a thistle brings even more meaning and resonance as it is the single flower engraved on my dear friend's tombstone. A reminder that what makes a garden beautiful is not so much the flowers that exist but rather the love poured into it.

But a rose....a rose is often considered to represent the balanced union between the divine masculine and feminine energies.  Not an external balance - an internal harmony between the divine masculine and feminine inside of YOU.  A harmonious intersection between embracing both your softness and vulnerability and stepping into your complete power to leave a lasting impact on those around you.

I want that. 

I want to feel fully alive and fully present in every aspect of my life.  Where one part of me is not compromising myself to make it easier for others to love me, accept me, engage with me. 

Believing that there are actually people out there who will want me around just for me - and not because of what I can do (or can't do) for them.  That there is a place out there where I don't feel like I have to hide or play small.

Wanting that and believing that is possible can be a challenging journey. 

​Hence why some thistles are still needed along the way.  The ones to poke you just enough to remind you of your bravery, your strength, to infuse your internal determination to solidify your devotion to yourself no matter how hard life may rail against you.

The trick is to appreciate their gifts, learn from the lessons they teach us, and find the strength within us to say, "no thank you" and return to the tending of our roses.  

Much like that rose, this little note is my symbolic act of returning to tend to the aspects of my life that matter most.  The ones that I want to watch flourish.

Let this be a beginning for you too. 

A moment to pause, to breathe, to center yourself and scribble down what in your own life needs more tending to - not out of service or demand - but in order for your heart to feel full and your soul at peace. 

​Maybe your rose garden isn't quite ready to be tended -but maybe it is time to plant the seeds.

Journey With Me