 I remember being in the hospital after my daughter was born. After an extended stay, due to a slightly unexpected c-section, I remember holding my baby when the doctor came in and told us we could go home the next morning.
I started crying. How could they let me take a baby home? I understood that technically speaking I was in fact a mom. However, I felt overwhelmed and underqualified for the job of actually taking my beautiful baby girl home and really, truly becoming a mother. Yet the next morning came, and they still insisted that it was time to leave. While we bundled our baby up and brought her home, fearing every other car on the road and every bump we bounced over, we slowly began to grow into our roles as parents. It wasn’t an overnight realization or an instant success, and still to this day I still find moments where I say to myself “I am really a Mom.” Usually after I am struck in awe at something inspiring or loving or completely unexpected that my children said or did. We weren’t given a manual on how to proceed. On how to be parentish or mom-like. It is something we kind of just figured out. We figured it out by following our instincts, our intuition, and taking what felt like the next right step. I have found myself standing in a similar place this year. I have found myself thinking “writing a book doesn’t make me an author. I am not an author.” But technically speaking - I am. Yet with every bookstore I visit to drop off books, every podcast I record, every event I attend I still find myself feeling like “this isn’t really my reality.” Much like becoming a Mom, I have dreamed of becoming an author for so long. Dreamed of inspiring others not by telling them what to do or how to think, but rather by sharing my own thoughts - the good and the ugly - and hoping that my words help another feel like they aren’t taking this journey alone. Yet standing in the reality of it somehow leaves me feeling like I am dreaming or even not worthy of the title. Not worthy of the reality of a dream come true. I think we often hit a milestone, have a dream come true, find ourselves on the edge of everything we ever wanted - and not knowing what to do with it. Nearly rejecting it before we even have time to relish in it. The truth is that the moment our dream arrives - whether it is a new baby, the promotion we have been waiting for, the dream job, the dream house, the dream location, the dream relationship. The arrival is only the beginning. It is the growing into your dreams when our new reality really begins to form. It is the leaning in to both the responsibility and the blessings of our wish fulfillment when the real becoming happens. I wonder how many opportunities we are given that we end up walking away from - scared of or in disbelief that we couldn’t possibly be that person who receives such a chance experience. A change in reality isn’t an overnight change. It is the conscious choice over and over again to keep following the directions we are being called. To not just have a baby. But to become a Mom. To not just write a book. But to continue to share my voice. To be the author not just of my words, but of my new reality. So, the next time you find yourself on the edge of a brand-new version of you. Relish in the fact that this new adventure is just getting started. It takes time to step out of the old versions of you and into the all of you that you are becoming. It’s not the destination, or the title, or the initial accomplishment that holds the joy. It is the journey. The evolution of you. Embrace. Evolve. Wrap yourself up in the knowing that you made it this far. And the best is everything that you will become as you continue to boldly step into the new.
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 My son, Joey, went through a phase of asking everyone he met: “what’s your opinion of ____________” and inserted whatever his interest was at the time.
He asked me the other day “Mom, what is your opinion of AI?” There is rarely a question that is asked of me that doesn’t have me contemplating it on a grander scale than maybe what was originally intended when the question was asked. I am officially guilty of being an overthinker - and proud of it! When he asked me this question, he was referring to the AI music videos that he has found on YouTube. He looovvesss music and finding the original music videos but has also become fascinated with some of the AI-generated videos set to the songs he loves. If you ask him which ones he prefers - it will be the original every time. Yet he does find appreciation in the AI ones as well. I admit, they are pretty amazing. As of late, people have developed some strong opinions in one direction or another of AI. Even though the technology has been around a long time - far longer than most of us think. I am a firm believer in as above, so below; as within, so without. In short, what we witness externally, even on a grander scale, is a projection of what is happening within our lives and ultimately within ourselves. So naturally, or naturally for me, I thought of AI in the likeness to my same physical existence. I thought of AI like my brain. A super charged, super-efficient brain. Without all of the background noise and distractions of course! But here is the catch with the brain and our existence as a whole. The brain can essentially be dead, we can literally be considered brain dead, and our body is still considered alive. However, if our heart gives out, our heart, it doesn’t matter how incredible our brain was - our body is considered dead. Our creative powerhouse comes from our heart, our inspiration, our intuition, our imagination is fueled by our heart center. Our prefrontal cortex may be behind the decision making, the planning, the problem-solving, the figuring out what to do with our creations, but the inspirations for our brain activity - they start in the heart. It seems to me we are currently living in a world with too much brain activity, too much brain-led decisions and choices, and not enough heart-led ones. Are you following me?? I hope so. So, what is my opinion on AI? I think it’s pretty cool. The heart in the picture of this very post was imagined by me but generated by AI. Since I don’t have an artistic bone in my body - it would have taken me a year to draw that picture. I like having the option to create images that mirror my words. To create physical representations of the feelings my words inspire within me. But my words, every single word I write, comes from a place so deep in the center of my heart my brain is actually surprised when it goes back and reads some of the things I have written. In a world that is in desperate need of balance and love - to find an equilibrium within us - and in the world around us, AI could either be the biggest blessing or a further continuation down a spiral where there is too much brain activity and not enough heart activity. If used properly and strategically integrated, it could propel our heart-inspired creations into existence far faster than we could have ever imagined. Just like this heart image that allowed me to get my words out faster. Yet if it is used in an attempt to further numb our emotions, to block out the callings of our hearts, to attempt to replace our creativity, we will see the world around us crumble. Do you remember the movie Neverending Story? If yes, have you watched it as an adult? The lessons and symbolism extend far beyond what I understood as a child. “In the heart of every dreamer lies the courage to defy gravity and reach for the stars.” Like in the Neverending Story, if we stop dreaming, if we stop finding inspiration from the center of our existence, from our heart space…. The Nothingness will spread here to us too. So, should we fight against AI? No. Absolutely not. We should love it. We should embrace it. We should be grateful that it has come this far. And we should whisper to our hearts “it's safe to open” and allow our hearts to rise to meet it. We should let it spark our creativity not by replacing it, but by the knowing that we have an avenue to bring our creativity into action. Into this world. At hyper speed. A supercharged brain can finally handle a supercharged heart. Our bodies, this world, could pulse with the most unimaginable vibration of love and peace and hope far greater than has ever been available to us before. If only, if only, we remember that a world without a beating heart, much like a body without a beating heart… Will never survive. |
AuthorJust a woman, finding the beauty in the ordinary, every single day. Archives
May 2025
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